I am so happy it is summer. I mean I cannot explain the joy in my heart :]] It's pretty amazing. Okay so my best friend Courtney is coming over later this week and we challenged eachother to make a list of 10-20 songs that we are anywhere in between addicted to or emotionally attached to this past school year. This is mine;
#1 Coming to terms- Carolina Liar.
#2 Believe me, i'm lying- Forever the sickest kids.
#3 Gonna tell everybody- Christina Milian.
#4 Get over it- OKGO.
#5 The con- Tegan and Sara.
#6 Fighter- Christina Aguilera.
#7 Shimmer- Fuel
#8 Saddest girl story- The starting line.
#9 You're so sober- The trews.
#10 Fornever- School boy humor.
#11 Solo impala- The fashion.
#12 Starz in their eyes- Just jack.
#13 Before he cheats- Carrie Underwood.
#14 Teardrops on my guitar- Taylor Swift.
#15 Semi-charmed life- Third eye blind.
#16 Let go- Red.
#17 Pretty Girl- Sugarcult.
#18 I don't give- Avril Lavgine.
#19 So contagious- Acceptance.
#20 Motivation- Sum 41.
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Beware: No meds today.
Ugh I keep totally forgetting things, even to take my medicine! It's hella annoying!! Damn. I just remembered everything I needed to remember today (Dillon, Meds, Allison..) and now it's too late to take or be with them. Well this past week was pretty cool I guess. In pottery I'm making a mug. Let's see... oh Tyler tricked me and said he was moving but he isn't, were still doing Julius Ceaser and I'm still loving it, I had 3 tests on Friday and I think I made maybe a C at the highest on one and the lowest ofcourse; an F! I've learned to settle for C's.. not because I can't do better but because it's my norm and it's like an A for me. That reminds me in pottery the other day Dillon said "oh making a mug will just get you a C" and I said I don't care, he then said "That's my girl!" Even if he wasn't serious, it still made me feel good a C was fine. I keep eating green M&M's and they continue to make me happy because they are green. Caroline came over and we played with my camera.. I'm thinking I might just start babysitting again.. I watched In her shoes last night and that made me cry, so do onions though lol! Omg I'm on some antibiotic and it makes my pee orange, like Reese's wrapper orange. It's weird but it kinda makes me laugh! Since my sister got a new phone I'm really wanting one too.. I'm thinking of this.. I really like the reviews I've seen on it, they have looked like the best! :] Well my tummy is full, i'm going to go watch tv now. Sorry I have not replied to any texts or calls this weekend, I don't know what's wrong :] I guess I just don't feel like talking.
This was a response a guy wrote to another about ADD, I find it very nice because he neither has it nor is studying it. It made me tear because I really found it touching and kind of embarrising- just a little, because I have something that they don't and how they explained it was very true. It's kind of like I'm naked in a room, check it out!
johnnzen;
Nobody is born perfectly equal, most are "average", but there are few who are born lesser. By lesser I mean by anything from their physical stature to their mental abilities. From personal experience, I have seen many ADD students that have trouble with hyperactivity, remembering things, and focusing.
They're not lazy at all, in fact some of them are the hardest working people I know because they have to go to such great lengths to compensate for their disability. A friend of mine does everything he can do to study, he frequently attempts to study, but finds that he is barraged by all the noise and distractions around him. Sometimes he just stares at the paper for hours, rewriting sentences over and over trying to understand and or memorizing them, but to no avail. He needs to carry all his books with him (those college books get heavy...) since he frequently forgets what he needs to bring to class. His attention span is too short to acquire concepts in the time an average person would take.
It's true that most with ADD have very similar characteristics to the "average" person. Laziness, procrastination, daydreaming, etc. All too often people see ADD characteristics as something everyone has, they feel that ADD is just a made up name for laziness. This is false. ADD reflects the HIGH degree of laziness, procrastination, daydreaming, hyperactivity, and concentration, not simply having these characteristics.
In certain cases that i'm attempting to apply your punishment solution, I find it difficult to punish a kid (referring to the same student I mentioned before) who studies longer than the average student and still receive mediocre scores. Also, my definition of studying longer means, studying during the week, in addition to fridays, and a portion of the weekend. I just can't see myself punishing someone who goes above and beyond and still falls short.
Not to mention, not all ADD/ADHD students have poor grades. Some of them are very successful in their academics, and their careers. I'd go into detail on famous stars on TV and businessmen with ADD, but i've got better things to do 
. However due to their ADD/ADHD, they are forced to work that extra mile that which most do not need to do.
On a social level, I also find it difficult to punish a someone with ADD for being unable to communicate well with friends. I remember being in class with a student with ADHD, and he found it difficult to carry on a conversation with others. He couldn't follow the topic of the conversation cause his mind would wander off.
I believe many of them shouldn't rely on the pills. That is why many of them seek treatment and therapy. I can't say much for those who don't seek long term treatment, but this is how it should be done. Since I am no psychologist, I cannot comment on the percentage of kids who are wrongly diagnosed of ADD, but I do know this: it is very real. Oh yeah, lets not forget that medication is also used to hasten the behavioral modification treatment.
I love this guy :]
- it may not always be so; and i say
that if your lips, which i have loved, should touch
another's, and your dear strong fingers clutch
his heart, as mine in time not far away;
if on another's face your sweet hair lay
in such silence as i know, or such
great writhing words as, uttering overmuch,
stand helplessly before the spirit at bay;
if this should be, i say if this should be--
you of my heart, send me a little word;
that i may go unto him, and take his hands,
saying, Accept all happiness from me.
Then shall i turn my face and hear one bird
sing terribly afar in the lost lands.
who knows if the moon's
a balloon,coming out of a keen city
in the sky--filled with pretty people?
(and if you and i should
get into it,if they
should take me and take you into their balloon,
why then
we'd go up higher with all the pretty people
than houses and steeples and clouds:
go sailing
away and away sailing into a keen
city which nobody's ever visited,where
always
it's
Spring)and everyone's
in love and flowers pick themselves
i like my body when it is with your
body. It is so quite new a thing.
Muscles better and nerves more.
i like your body. i like what it does,
i like its hows. i like to feel the spine
of your body and its bones, and the trembling
-firm-smooth ness and which i will
again and again and again
kiss, i like kissing this and that of you,
i like, slowly stroking the, shocking fuzz
of your electric fur, and what-is-it comes
over parting flesh . . . . And eyes big love-crumbs,
and possibly i like the thrill
of under me you so quite new
you being in love
will tell who softly asks in love,
am i separated from your body smile brain hands merely
to become the jumping puppets of a dream? oh i mean:
entirely having in my careful how
careful arms created this at length
inexcusable, this inexplicable pleasure--you go from several
persons: believe me that strangers arrive
when i have kissed you into a memory
slowly, oh seriously
--that since and if you disappear
solemnly
myselves
ask "life, the question how do i drink dream smile
and how do i prefer this face to another and
why do i weep eat sleep--what does the whole intend"
they wonder. oh and they cry "to be, being, that i am alive
this absurd fraction in its lowest terms
with everything cancelled
but shadows
--what does it all come down to? love? Love
if you like and i like,for the reason that i
hate people and lean out of this window is love,love
and the reason that i laugh and breathe is oh love and the reason
that i do not fall into this street is love."- since feeling is first
who pays any attention
to the syntax of things
will never wholly kiss you;
wholly to be a fool
while Spring is in the world
my blood approves,
and kisses are a better fate
than wisdom
lady i swear by all flowers. Don't cry
-the best gesture of my brain is less than
your eyelids' flutter which says
we are for each other: then
laugh leaning back in my arms
for life's not a paragraph
And death i think is no parenthesis
may i feel said he
(i'll squeal said she
just once said he)
it's fun said she
(may i touch said he
how much said she
a lot said he)
why not said she
(let's go said he
not too far said she
what's too far said he
where you are said she)
may i stay said he
(which way said she
like this said he
if you kiss said she
may i move said he
is it love said she)
if you're willing said he
(but you're killing said she
but it's life said he
but your wife said she
now said he)
ow said she
(tiptop said he
don't stop said she
oh no said he)
go slow said she
(cccome?said he
ummm said she)
you're divine!said he
(you are Mine said she)
love is a place
& through this place of
love move
(with brightness of peace)
all places
yes is a world
& in this world of
yes live
(skilfully curled)
all worlds
i thank You God for most this amazing
day:for the leaping greenly spirits of trees
and a blue true dream of sky;and for everything
which is natural which is infinite which is yes
(i who have died am alive again today,
and this is the sun's birthday;this is the birth
day of life and of love and wings:and of the gay
great happening illimitably earth)
how should tasting touching hearing seeing
breathing any--lifted from the no
of allnothing--human merely being
doubt unimaginable You?
(now the ears of my ears awake and
now the eyes of my eyes are opened)- i am a little church(no great cathedral)
far from the splendor and squalor of hurrying cities
--i do not worry if briefer days grow briefest,
i am not sorry when sun and rain make april
my life is the life of the reaper and the sower;
my prayers are prayers of earth's own clumsily striving
(finding and losing and laughing and crying)children
whose any sadness or joy is my grief or my gladness
around me surges a miracle of unceasing
birth and glory and death and resurrection:
over my sleeping self float flaming symbols
of hope,and i wake to a perfect patience of mountains
i am a little church(far from the frantic
world with its rapture and anguish)at peace with nature
--i do not worry if longer nights grow longest;
i am not sorry when silence becomes singing
winter by spring,i lift my diminutive spire to
merciful Him Whose only now is forever:
standing erect in the deathless truth of His presence
(welcoming humbly His light and proudly His darkness)
i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)
i fear
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you
here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart
i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)- Now i lay(with everywhere around)
me(the great dim deep sound
of rain;and of always and of nowhere)and
what a gently welcoming darkestness--
now i lay me down(in a most steep
more than music)feeling that sunlight is
(life and day are)only loaned:whereas
night is given(night and death and the rain
are given;and given is how beautifully snow)
now i lay me down to dream of(nothing
i or any somebody or you
can begin to begin to imagine)
something which nobody may keep.
now i lay me down to dream of Spring. -
It feels so good! You know that feeling... that feeling of like real happiness, that's what I feel right now! I feel contentment in myself, not full contentment, but enough contentment to where I could have someone else tell me things about me and I not be unconfortable. I usually feel uncomfortable when people tell me the truth about myself even when it's positive- it's called insecurity. I still am insecure, but I am way more secure now :] I feel beautiful today.
That purity conference was something good for me, I'm glad I went. I'm so happy I have been going to church every wednesday and I think I will continue to go every wednesday too. I love that I have Diane for my therapist, she is awesome. And I really like that I have chosen to listen to everyone but choose for myself with the best desisions. I think this year is really like a wake up call, and a re-invention for me! It's like a year to cleanse. I really like this year so much it makes me want to cry, and I miss so many people and have such a past that I don't have in the present that I'm just kinda moving on with things still stuck to me, I need to shake off. I'm doing that now, this year! I have been doing it by loosing weight, going to therapy, now church, and giving myself a social life again :] Surronding yourself with good gets you good. So by only healthy food, surrond yourself with exersise equipment, go to church, go to therapy, buy self-help books, buy happy music, get things with your favorite color or happy colors, and be with the people you love and with happy people and with people with like goals, it will be easier to achieve what you want too.
This morning I ate mom's homemade oatmeal chocolate chip cookies they were like heaven! Well when Alli gives me pictures I will put em' up here but for now you have this :] Happy Sunday!
Why don't you- Ingram Hill
Oooh okay yesterday was fun and today was too! Yesterday in school nothing much happened, I had a spanish test.. I'm not positive on how I did on it though. But in pottery I finished my coil thing so I had the rest of the period or used the rest of the period and made a clay face thing w/ Dillon.. aww I was sooo attached to it! It was like seriously a peice of art! Like a cartoon. It was adorable.. he took a picture of it with his phone and said he would send it to me, it's our clay baby :] lol aww.. he better of kept it! If he did I'll post it on here sometime soon.
After school Alli's grandma picked us up and we went over to my house and got my stuff, then we went to Allison's. We were at Alli's for like four hours and we watched youtube videos, home videos, ate a chicken sandwich from mickey d's, and drank some sweet tea! Her mom came home and then she took us to Jeribeth's house :] at Jeri's we went to the skating park, and the public park.. that was fun we took pictures and ran around freezing our booties off! lol! We spent the night.. they got to go to sleep, but I did'nt go to sleep till' 5:30 and that is not good, because I needed to be up at 6. My brain was just wired like crazy, I don't know! Anyways I got up and took my medicine and everything was cool, but I feel like I have to be busy 24/7!
So today we went to the Purity Conference in Conway with the church. Me, Alli, and Jeri. It was TOTAL FUN!! I really really really liked it. I really feel like I had a place there and felt comfy :] We got to choose to classes type things I chose one taught by two guys, they and we talked about love, relationships, when is it too soon.. ya know that type of stuff.. sex.. I really liked that class because they made alot of points to me. I think staying pure is important because it makes your relationship so much more meaningful together, not only that but it saves you alot from STDs and maybe getting pregnant to. Really though I would like to stay pure for my relationship with myself, god, and whoever I am with. My second class was an all girls class, my first one was coed. This one talked about how we girls need to be modest in our language, clothes, and make-up. This means don't talk alot, don't tempt the guy's because you are putting yourself at risk, and did you know make-up was origanally used to make women look sexually flusterd? Yeah. But I don't do all that crazy stuff anyways! I took alot of notes but I really don't feel like walking into the other room to go get all of my stuff! I think I will upload more stuff later. I got two t-shirts though! One from the conference and one from the band that played :] both are to big for me.. oh well! Oh and we met some college guy's too, they talked to us about the gay guy's at school..awkward.. and the one that sat with all of us at lunch he talked about just about everything! There was a dude that was in line with us forever, I thought he was cute too! Yeah, I had lots of fun :]
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Thankyou =] I have taken a bunch of new pictures since then, I should start putting some up again! read more
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